The Ultimate Blame
by imstillaliveafterall
Summary: Kurt and Rachel discuss the cast list for McKinley's production of Grease. Kurt is more than a little surprised by what he finds out. But Blaine brought this on himself...right? It's all his fault that everything has gone wrong. Isn't it? SPOILERS for 4x5
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

**P.S. Don't read if you haven't see the most recent episode. SPOILER ALERT! :D **

**Also, Kurts thought alternate between italic and bold. But it's not that hard to figure out. I have faith in you all. Enjoy!**

**P.S.S. I like reviews.**

**P.S.S.S. Nice ones though… well, criticism is cool. But don't be hateful please!**

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"You heard that the glee club is doing _Grease_, right?"

Kurt nodded absent mindedly as he flipped through the last copy of Vogue.

"Of course," he said to Rachel, who was once again attempting to cook dinner, "And you heard that Finn is directing it, correct?"

"Co-directing", Rachel corrected.

Kurt shot her a hard look and she sighed.

"You heard from Mercedes?"

"Rachel, you know I have," Kurt sat up from his place in the middle of the warehouse-like apartment that the two best friends now called their own, "Where are you going with this?"

Rachel sighed and sat down the spoon she had been using to stir the boiling pasta.

"It's just… Finn, Mercedes, Mike; they're all back at McKinley and I'm just feeling a little…"

"Homesick," Kurt finished for her with a sympathetic look.

"Yeah… hard to believe, huh," Rachel said with a little smile, "I thought I'd get out here and just be whisked away by the fabulousness that is New York but…"

"But there's no place like home," Kurt said with a wiry smile.

It was true; New York was wonderful. Rachel was doing great at NYADA even with the evil dance teacher who seemed to be out to get her. Kurt was climbing to the top with his work at . And even though it wasn't exactly what they had planned - living in a shabby little apartment in the bad part of the city, Rachel being treated just as horrid as she had been in Lima, and Kurt not even getting into NYADA- they were still enjoying every minute of it.

But, Kurt thought, that doesn't mean we can't miss home.

He'd never thought he would miss Lima either, but he'd forgotten what he was leaving behind. His dad was in Lima; Glee club and Finn and Carole were in Lima. _Blaine was in Lima._

No, he thought, stop it. He shouldn't miss Blaine. Blaine had cheated on him. Blaine had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

_You mean like what you did last year? You mean that thing that Blaine forgave you for?_

Yeah, but I never actually **DID** anything! Kurt shot back to his subconscious.

_Technically, you don't even know __**what**__ Blaine did._

He said he was **"with"** someone. It's not exactly hard to figure out what that means.

_Yes, but it's __**Blaine**__. Being "with" someone could mean going to have coffee with them and maybe the guy attempting to hold his hand, or holding eye contact for too long. Maybe if you just answered his texts and let him explain…_

Kurt stopped his inner monologue. He was pretty sure it wasn't healthy to have a conversation with himself. That, and he didn't want to think about answering Blaine's phone calls; Kurt just couldn't handle it. Not yet, anyway. He had to work through his thoughts concerning the situation first. He deserved that, didn't he? He had the right to figure out how he felt about the whole debacle before he spoke to Blaine.

_Yes, and in the meantime, you're both absolutely miserable._

**SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!**

"Kurt… what would you say about going to McKinley to see _Grease_?"

That brought Kurt out of his stupor.

"Huh?" He replied eloquently.

"McKinley?" Rachel said slowly, "Flying out there to see the production?"

Kurt just stared at her, so Rachel started in on her rant.

"It's just that Artie and Finn are co-directing and that in itself should be amazing, because Artie is actually really talented at that and Finn can bring anyone together when he really tries. You know he can! I mean, he got Sam to join Glee club, and he brought us all together when Sue gave away our set list, and he helped all of us gain confidence even when he was taking slushies in the face for it! And Mercedes is the vocal coach, so maybe the new kids will actually be on pitch, and Mike actually might be able to help them learn how to dance so that they can show case someone other than Britney! And, you know, I heard that Noah's half-brother can actually dance-"

Kurt stepped in, "Rachel, I…"

He wasn't sure what to say; she brought up some really good points. He was positive that the show was going to be amazing! It was just that…

"Rachel, I would love to, I would!" Kurt held up a hand to stop Rachel from squealing so he could continue, " I would love to go see our friends work and I would love to see Tina and Sam and Joe and everyone else perform it's just…"

Kurt sighed, "I don't think I can handle going to the Blaine playing Danny Zuko."

This made Rachel pause. She looked like a deer caught in head lights.

"What?" She said, so quietly he could barely hear her.

"You heard me. And frankly, I think I have a right to feel this way! Especially considering all that's happened recently…"

Rachel looked at Kurt sympathetically, "Kurt… you haven't heard from anyone about the cast list, have you?"

Now it was Kurt's turn to be surprised, "What are you talking about?"

"I called Mercedes earlier today to ask how the cast list went. I was curious, especially about Couch Sylvester's reaction to Unique playing Rizzo, because she said earlier that Finn was dead set on it, and…"

She paused.

"What?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

Rachel took a deep breathe, "She wasn't there for Blaine's audition, but Artie gave her and Mike the whole run down. She said that he performed… but totally broke down at the end."

Kurt stared at her, not fully comprehending what she was saying.

"She said that he refused a part. He said that he tried, because he didn't want to let anyone down, but… that Grease was a romance and he didn't know how he could play the part after he'd ruined his. They convinced him to take the role of Teen Angel, but he wasn't happy about it."

Kurt turned to look at the wall. Blaine… wasn't playing Danny? It just didn't seem right. Who else would you give the part to? Why had Blaine refused the part? He was a shoe in! And he loved to perform! Say what you will about Blaine Anderson, and his awfully charming dapperness, but he was an absolute spot light hog. In what world would he give up the chance to stand up stage and belt his heart out?

_In a world that you're not in anymore._

Kurt's annoying subconscious was right. Blaine would have taken the part of Danny if they'd still been together. If Kurt had been there to cheer him on, he would have taken it in a heartbeat. He would have done nothing but practice until opening night, just so it would be perfect when Kurt went to see it.

But Blaine had brought this upon himself! It was Blaine's fault that they were no longer together! Blaine had cheated on him! Blaine had ruined everything!

_But did he really do it by himself?_

Of course not, he had some skank with him when he did it. Kurt replied smarmily.

_You know what I mean._

Okay, so maybe Kurt hadn't answered a few phones calls; And hogged all the time talking during skype dates; And ignored Blaine's cries for help… but he hadn't cheated! He hadn't gone out and found someone to help with his loneliness!

"Kurt," Rachel said softly, moving into his line of sight, "What are you thinking?"

"That it's all my fault," Kurt choked out. He was shocked to feel tears burning at his eyes. Why was he crying? Why had he said that? It wasn't true! Was it?

"Oh, honey no."

"But it is!" Kurt wailed, "I should have known that something was wrong with him! I should have paid more attention and answered his calls and made sure I had time for him!"

"Kurt, the long distance thing was just too hard!"

"Oh don't give me that crap," Kurt snarled, standing up so swiftly Rachel almost fell off the couch, "We knew what to expect. We were ready; we had plans. We're soul mates Rachel! We're supposed to grow old together! We're supposed to move in together and buy stupid little love plants and pretend that they're our children! We're supposed to get married, and be successful, and be that gay couple you see on TV and just fawn over, because they're so irresistible. We're supposed to be the new Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka after they grow old and have too many children to be in the spot light!"

Rachel stood up and took Kurt's hands into her own, "Who says you can't still have that?"

Kurt stared at her once more.

"What?" He said, incredulously.

"Who says you can't still have that?" Rachel asked more forcefully, "So he made a mistake; we all do that Kurt! Especially in times of crisis! Now, I'm not saying that what he did was in anyway okay, or that you should forget it happened, or that you don't have a right to be upset and angry. I'm just saying… don't let your life be ruined because of this one wrong action. Don't let the person you love get away just because you feel scorned, because Kurt, one day, I think you'll come to regret it.

"I think that one day, you'll look back and wonder what would have happened if you had just given him a second chance! Mr. Right," Rachel said dreamily, "and okay, he's not perfect! But, no one is! And you should know his imperfectness best of all!

"Isn't that one of the reasons you love him?" Rachel finished with a small smile.

Kurt knew most of that; he knew how much he would miss Blaine, and his smile. How much he would miss his ridiculous bow ties, and how he rolled up his jeans, and the way he absolutely refused to wear socks. He'd miss the small touches Blaine would give him when Kurt was super excited, or upset, or angry. He'd miss sitting with him and just knowing, just _knowing_, that he was thinking the exact same thing as him whenever they saw something particularly amusing or horrific.

He knew how much he'd miss the look in Blaine's eyes whenever Kurt rounded the corner and walked towards him. They look he got every time he felt like Kurt had done something adorable, or funny, or just plain _Kurt-like_. The look he got when they said, I love you.

He knew he would come to regret letting Blaine slip through his fingers, but could he really, truly, forgive him for what he had done? Could they really work through this? Could they get back on the right track?

Kurt knew the answer.

He looked down at Rachel and gave her a little half smile.

"So?" she asked, imploringly.

"So," Kurt sighed, "I guess I better call Finn and reserve a couple of tickets to McKinley's production of _Grease._"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! I had a lot of people ask me for a second chapter and even some people follow the story! So, I figured I'd give it a try! This is my best case scenario. Sorry if you don't like it! I was so tired of all the angst- I just wanted everyone to be happy. So I made it happen! :D Thank you for all the wonderful reviews- you guys are awesome. Enjoy!**

**PS- Slight warning for several curse words. Just saying.**

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Blaine sighed heavily from his spot on the couch next to Sugar. Today was not his day. That's not to say that any day had been particularly kind to him recently, but today had been particularly horrid.

He'd been woken up by his father, who had just received a letter in the mail about his falling grades. _Who would think McKinley would actually care enough to send out something like that?_ Blaine had thought bitterly as his father yelled at him to get his act together .

"What college is going to take these kind of grades, Blaine?"

His father had a point, but the problem was that Blaine didn't particularly care about college at the moment. His plans to move to New York and attend college there had been ruined. Why should he have to put forth the effort to figure out a new dream now that he'd screwed up the one he really wanted?

His day hadn't improved upon arriving at school. He'd discovered that he had a test in Calculus that he didn't study for and that the glee club had rehearsal that afternoon for the musical, which interrupted all his plans to go home and sulk.

He'd have plenty to sulk about, he thought, as he tuned back into his surroundings.

"What are you doing, Blaine?" Artie was asking exasperated, "We know you're better than this!"

_No_, Blaine thought,_ I'm really not._

"I'm sorry, Artie," Blaine replied quietly, "I'm just- It's been a really long day, you know?"

Artie looked at him carefully, as if judging his honesty.

"Okay, guys, we're done for today. Marley, Ryder- you guys were great. Tina, that was absolutely wonderful today. Everyone else- we're really getting there. Go over your staging at home and don't forget what you learned with Mike and Mercedes.

"Blaine," Artie turned to face him, "Get you're shit together."

Blaine laughed softly, "I'm trying, Artie; I am."

Artie's expression softened, "We all know you're going through a lot right now, Blaine, but just try and use the musical to work through those problems, okay? I think it could really help if you just threw yourself into the work."

Blaine nodded, attempting to smile, "Thanks Artie. I'll think about that."

Problem was, Blaine had already thought of that. He knew he was doing awful, but he'd told them not to cast him! He couldn't really blame them, he supposed. They needed people to play the parts; even if those people were horribly depressed and couldn't think of anything except how they'd ruined their life.

Blaine couldn't think of anything except for Kurt these days. He'd given up trying to contact him; Kurt wasn't going to answer. And Blaine didn't blame him. He'd ruined everything. He'd given in to his loneliness and betrayed the person he loved the most. Nothing he could do would ever fix that, and he was just going to have to get use to the idea.

Blaine sighed as he watched everyone leave the auditorium. He walked over to the end of the stage and let his legs hang over into the pit, with his head in his hands.

_Might as well go ahead and start the party_, Blaine thought sarcastically.

Except he wasn't as alone as he thought he was.

"Hey."

Blaine froze. There was no way he'd actually heard that voice. Blaine didn't have any right to hear that voice, let alone be in the presence of the owner. He must be in Hell, he mused silently. He was obviously being punished, and rightfully so! He'd take whatever the world had to throw at him; he just wished his suffering would make Kurt feel better.

"Blaine?" The voice asked carefully.

Blaine looked up slowly, "Kurt?"

Right in front of him, in the flesh, was Kurt Hummel. His signature skinny jeans and boots were donned, along with a light grey pea coat and blue scarf that really made his eyes pop. His hair was immaculate as always, which made Blaine think of his own locks, which he'd left ungelled that day. He hadn't thought it worth the effort.

Blaine's throat dried up and he suddenly felt as if he'd been doused in ice cold water.

"What," he cleared his throat, "What are you doing here?"

Kurt shrugged as he walked closer to the stage. Blaine took in every movement as the boy he loved unwrapped his scarf slowly and set it down on one of the auditorium seats.

"Rachel and I came in early to see the musical," Kurt said softly.

"Musical," Blaine repeated dumbly.

Kurt gave him an odd look, "Yes… the musical. Grease; It's this weekend, correct?"

"Grease, this weekend, right, yes," Blaine said, "But… what are you doing _here?_ You know, with me."

Kurt ran his fingers across the edge of stage as he looked around at all the set pieces.

"I wanted to see you," Kurt said softy, looking up at Blaine through his eyelashes and causing all the breath to leave his body.

When Blaine didn't reply, Kurt continued, "I heard you turned down the part of Danny."

Blaine made a small noise of agreement.

"Why?"

Kurt's eyes seemed to stare into his soul.

"Kurt," Blaine said softly, "You, of all people, know the answer to that one."

Kurt tilted his head and hummed, "Mmm, no, I don't think I do, Blaine."

Blaine scoffed. He jumped up from his place on the edge of the stage and started pacing around all the scenery that was scattered about, waiting to be used for the show that weekend.

"I ruined everything, Kurt," he said, as he paced back and forth, "We were the story, Kurt. We were the perfect example of two people coming together in unlikely circumstances, just like Danny and Sandy. I mean, how many gay guys get together in Ohio and make it to New York and end up getting married and adopting kids and living the dream and I just…"

Blaine's eyes started welling up, but he tried to hold it off. He didn't have any right to cry in front of Kurt.

"But I was selfish, Kurt. I was upset, because I thought you were ignoring me,"

"Blaine,"

"But I should have understood that you were finally living your dream and given you space! But _no_, instead I go over to freaking Eli's house,"

"_Blaine,_"

"Because I thought maybe it would make me feel better, but it didn't, Kurt! It made everything worse and-"

"BLAINE!"

The dam had broken and Blaine couldn't hear anything except a horrible buzzing in his ears and the sound of his voice cracking. But, all of the sudden, Kurt was there and he was holding Blaine's face in his hands while speaking soothingly in an attempt to calm him down.

"Breathe, Blaine. Shhh, it's okay; just breathe."

Blaine took a few seconds to calm himself and leaned into Kurt's touch, but soon, he had his wits about him, and he tore away so quickly he almost fell over. Kurt looked shocked, and a tad bit hurt.

Blaine panicked, "Oh, Kurt, no. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be in your presence and I certainly don't deserve your comfort."

Kurt calmed slightly and whispered, "But I want you to have it."

A small moan made its way out of Blaine.

"Why," he asked in a pained voice.

Kurt didn't answer his question. Instead, he walked closer to Blaine and said, "Blaine, I want you to tell me exactly what happened with this 'Eli'.

Blaine looked at Kurt and took in how he'd stood up straighter and steeled his shoulders as he stated his request. His eyes looked nervous and he was fiddling with a button on his coat.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked quietly.

Kurt nodded, "I'm positive."

So Blaine started his story. He told Kurt how he'd had to go to one of his fathers' fundraisers and how he'd met Eli there. Eli went to a public school in Westerville and had come out of the closet earlier that year. Blaine hadn't really thought of him after the party until he received a Facebook request. Eli had started messaging him and Blaine finally understood what Kurt had felt like the year before with the "Chandler Debacle".

He told Kurt how Eli had invited him over and that they'd sat down to watch a movie. He told him how Eli had leaned over and started kissing him, and how he'd let him for a few minutes, before panicking and bolting away.

"Then, I picked up my bag, and told him I was really sorry, but I had a boyfriend who I was in love with, and that he was a really nice guy, but I had to go."

Kurt looked at Blaine with wide eyes as he finished.

"That's it?"

"Yeah, that's- wait, what?" Blaine looked confused.

"That's it? You just went over and he kissed you and you left?"

"Kurt," Blaine looked mildly panicked once more, "I cheated on you."

"Umm, no," Kurt said, "Some other guy kissed you and you ran away."

"But I knew he liked me! I went over there knowing it was just for the attention-"

Kurt interrupted him by grabbing the lapels of his cardigan and pulling him in for a kiss. When they broke apart, Blaine was gasping, "Kurt- what?"

"Blaine," he said fondly, messing with his hair, "I know you feel like you cheated, but it really wasn't that bad. Nuh-uh," he said as Blaine tried to interrupt, "I also know how you felt. I was in your position and I know you weren't looking for things to escalate. You were just lonely!

"Now, that's not to say you don't have a _whole_ lot of groveling to do, but, Blaine! I think we can work through this!"

Blaine stared at Kurt with wide eyes.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Kurt said with a smile, "That I want you to go be the best damn Teen Angel I've ever seen. And then I want you to take me out to dinner and buy me at least two new scarves. Then you might have to bake something for me and, possibly carry all my bags while I go shopping with Mercedes, but in the end, the only thing you need to worry about is the lunch I'm going to make you go to with my father."

Blaine blinked a few times before launching himself at Kurt and covering his face with kisses.

"Oh, my god- I'm so sorry. Oh, my god, _Kurt_," he repeated over and over until Kurt covered his mouth with his hands.

"I know," Kurt said, leaning his forehead in to touch Blaine's.

"We're really going to be okay?" Blaine asked as he took Kurt's hands into his own.

"We're really going to be okay," Kurt stated with a smile as he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend once more.


End file.
